bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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