is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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