The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
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Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
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I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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