I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize