What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
