playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
