grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize