WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
