He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
