on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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