the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
