Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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