I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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