CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
