I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
