You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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