rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
