i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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