oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
