his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
