just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
