In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
