Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
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the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
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I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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