We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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