I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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