So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize