quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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