Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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