I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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