if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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