Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
