I'm jealous of your bromance
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
