if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
