Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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