Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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