i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
