That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
