I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize