Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
