I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
