I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
