nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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