yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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