Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
