Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
