Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
