my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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