I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
