My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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