Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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