Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
