dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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