sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
