By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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