so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
