I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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