I'm going to rape someone's good day.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
